Story and a Mini-rant

For this week’s blog, I will be using the story I wrote in class.
Audience : everyone
Setting : A kids bedroom with the window open
Character : A kid practicing a magic trick
Detail : An iPad

It was a sunny day. The bright light streamed through the open window of Matt’s bedroom. Matt was a strange child. He spends most of his time sitting quietly in his room alone practicing magic. His parents were strongly against this practice as they were extremely religious. One might go as far as to say his parents were fanatics. With this in mind, Matt needed to practice his magic tricks in secret to avoid the scorn of his psychotic parents. His latest trick involved the use of a rabbit, chainsaw and an iPad. Not many people would understand how this could possibly be a magic trick, but sure enough Matt made it into one. The trick had no real end goal to the untrained observer.

This goes to show the potential Matt held in the practice of magic. Matt turned the chainsaw on with a yank of the cord. As the chainsaw came to life, the rabbit wet itself and the iPad vibrated in fear of what was going to happen. There was an explosion. Apparently Apple is a horrible company owned by terrorists who had planted bombs in every iPad in order to remove all the retarded people from Earth’s population.

Now I will include a mini rant directed towards Apple. Simple question: why do people buy from such a horrible company? Are you really all sheeple with no room for independent thought and no skill to use an actual computer? Do you need something obviously designed for people with a below average IQ? I’ve never liked Apple. To me, their products are all flash with no real benefits. The mac fanboys will claim how they’re superior to PC based products, but they can never provide an actual argument as to why. Ok, here’s a little background. Back when Apple used Motorola chips, there were some benchmarking results that showed a SLIGHT, and I really mean slight, advantage to the Motorola chip over intel based computers in the area of audio/video performance. This was then used to push their disgusting products even though in 2005 they switched to intel chips and the only difference between a Mac and a PC is the operating system and the overly flashly design of mac.

I cannot stand using a mac. Maybe it’s me and I like to actually use my computer, but there are no benefits to mac. They’re expensive, flashy, limited upgrade possibilities and the setups offered are never the latest and greatest. They may be marketed as such, but the fact remains that if you buy a mac, you will be stuck with lesser technology.

Coffee

To put it simply, I love coffee. I have a small collection with me at college. For everyday drinking, I have a lesser quality French Roast from Starbucks. Then for an enjoyable midday coffee I have a nice Vienna Roast. For special occasions I have my favorite, a smooth, medium roast Austrian coffee from Café Sperl. I only drink my coffee black. Now that I’ve established my love of coffee, I can get to my rant.
I cannot stand the people who claim to love coffee, but then add so much sugar and milk that it’s impossible to actually taste the coffee. You don’t like coffee. You just like sugar, milk and caffeine. If you like that, fine, but don’t go around saying you love coffee and then head over to Starbucks for a triple mocha chocolate or some shit like that. That’s not coffee. That’s a sugar overload with a hint of coffee for the caffeine. If you find the taste so unbearable that you have to dump all that crap in just to drink it, just take a fucking caffeine pill or drink a coke. When did this obsession with crap coffee come about? It’s unacceptable how this pathetic excuse for coffee has become the norm.

WoW

World of Warcraft. Why the hell would anyone play this game? It is by far one of the worst games I have ever played. There is absolutely no feeling of accomplishment with it and no skill required. The only things it does require are a disturbing amount of time and money. I sadly have played this game. One of my friends got me to play the free trial and the whole time I was thinking “why the hell would anyone play this!?” There is nothing to World of Warcraft. You run around collecting pointless ingame items. Seriously, this is the typical mission. Collect 400 of this random thing that only drops every once in a while and then take those items in for a prize. Yeah, that sounds entertaining. I can’t even see how people find it addicting. You pay $15 a month for a subscription and that’s after you spend god knows how much on all the actual games. How many expansions are they up to now? Well apparently they are working on the third expansion. I can’t even begin to imagine trying to keep up with that. How is this game still around? Why haven’t people caught on to how horrible it is yet? The fact that people are still paying into this and wasting their lives blows my mind. What they’re doing is paying 15 dollars a month to keep their virginity. That’s it. I know a few people who won’t stop playing this said excuse for a game. They constantly complain about retaining their virgin status yet they continue to play. This makes no sense to me. If you spend that many hours a day playing a stupid game, you have no right whatsoever to complain about having a bad life. They also complain about doing poorly in school. Yeah, that doesn’t make sense at all. You only spend 12 hours a day playing that pathetic game while slamming energy drinks and putting no effort into school. Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with that… sounds like you should be doing very well… Just in case you didn’t catch that, I was employing a very subtle form of sarcasm… Another thing that really gets me is how ingrained this game has become in popular culture. World of Warcraft does not deserve this. It is literally the herpes of gaming.

Anti-Smokers

People need to stop trying to pressure others into quitting smoking. It doesn’t work. I’m sick and tired of people telling me to quit. The simple fact of the matter is that no matter what you say, it won’t help me quit permanently. The choice needs to be mine and mine alone. Sure people can support you if and when you do decide to kick the habit, but the constant pressure is only going to annoy and create distance in any kind of relationship. I will quit when I’m ready to and nothing others say is going to affect my decision. I know it’s unhealthy. I know it can cause cancer and all kinds of other problems. I know it’s expensive as hell. You’d have to be the most ignorant person in the world to not know all of this stuff nowadays. Constantly looking down on smokers and telling them that they should quit is only going to make them hang out with other people who smoke and won’t constantly bother them and complain about the smell. Also, all these groups on facebook about “IF 1,000,000 PEOPLE JOIN (some random person no one cares about) WILL STOP SMOKING” are retarded and need to stop. It’s peer pressure that won’t work in the long term. Sure, they might stop for a little while (if they actually reach the goal…), but it’s definitely not going to last unless they do it themselves. I enjoy smoking. I find it very pleasant and relaxing. I don’t care if the smell bothers you. I don’t care that you had a family member who died from lung cancer and I won’t stop for anyone other than myself. Everyone I have known who tried to quit through this idiotic family/friends peer pressure has failed. So stop trying to convince smokers to quit. If they ask you to help them quit, be there for them, but other than that stay the fuck out of it.