Google is your friend

You know what I’m really tired of? People always assuming that I’ll help them out with computer problems. As soon as they find out I plan on studying computer science or they see my computer, it’s always assumed that I can just be their on-call tech support. I use to be ok with this, but nowadays I find it rather insulting. Most problems people experience with their computer are so simple it blows my mind how anyone could not figure it out on their own. You want to know the secret to solving pretty much every computer problem the average user will encounter? A simple google search. That’s it! I don’t claim to be all knowing when it comes to computers. In fact, I’m pretty inept compared to most serious computer users. Sure, I built my own computer and it runs extremely smoothly, but that’s because I have a fucking BASIC understanding of computer maintenance that comes from using this little known search engine called GOOGLE. Odds are if they come to me with a computer problem that I can’t solve off the top of my head, I’ll go straight to google, type in a few key words, search and odds are that the answer to their problem will be on the first page. The first fucking page. Seriously, did you even try to figure out the problem? Or are you just too stupid to figure out what someone posted about the exact same problem you’re having? I’ve had people ask me to install their printer. A goddamn PRINTER! Is that really so hard to do? Also, to all of you with computers loaded up with viruses. Do you know why that happens? You’re being an idiot when browsing the internet and not thinking before you click. It seems like the average person has absolutely no common sense on the internet. They think everything is fine and dandy. Oh, my friend who I haven’t talked to on aim in months randomly sent me a link completely out of context and isn’t responding to me. I’ll just click the link and find out what’s up. Congratulations, you’re a dumbass. Then there’s the other obvious cause for viruses, porn. Yeah, I get it… you’re horny and want some pleasant imagery while having your little happy time, but browse with some fucking common sense. So to wrap it up, google is your friend and think about what you’re clicking on. If you ask me for help the most I will do is send you here: www.justfuckinggoogleit.com

Things that piss me off

1. Fat people – Seriously… just put the damn fork down and don’t complain about your weight while you’re munching down on 3 Big Macs with large fries… just because you’re drinking a diet coke with all that shit doesn’t make it ok . I understand that it is hard work to lose that weight and nothing happens over night, but control yourself, and stop complaining about these “thyroid problems.”

2. Religious people – Come on now… really? It’s the 21^st century and you still believe in a little story written by some random dudes that would be considered crazy if introduced in modern times. If you disagree with this, just think about Scientology. Yeah, thought so.

3. Social smokers – No, I will not give you one of MY cigarettes so you can stand there and puff on it like a dumbass and not even finish it. These things cost money. If you like to smoke when you’re drinking, why don’t you buy your own damn pack before going out? Also, don’t you dare fucking ask for a hit. It’s my cigarette and I don’t want your germs.

4. AT&T – Seriously, fuck them. I’m sick and tired of missing calls because they have such a shitty network then having to go outside to make calls. It’s been way too cold for that shit.

5. Fox News – Fair and balanced… yeah… no political bias associated with this “news” organization at all. They constantly misrepresent facts to further the republican agenda and infuse false facts in the minds of their viewers. There is nothing more frightening than a misinformed collective with such ideals... and guns.

6. Cops – Your job is to protect and serve. This does NOT mean you’re allowed to be a trigger happy bully on a powertrip. Don’t get me wrong, I know some nice cops, but most cops I’ve met have been total assholes. No matter what the situation was.

7. Reality TV shows – Worst thing to happen to TV other than Fox News.

8. Dirty people – Is it really that hard to shower everyday? It takes five minutes, feels amazing and makes you not smell like shit. I think it’s worth it…

9. Texting – This is one thing I don’t understand to save my life. I do it, but only because it’s become an essential part of communication. It's so much easier to just call someone, but people only text nowadays. Even when they're driving... really? You're going to fucking look down at a screen and type on tiny keys WHILE DRIVING a multi-ton chunk of metal traveling at the speed of death. Yeah, that's smart.

10. Mind games – You try it with me, I won’t even bother with you. Simple as that.